This little word is very hard for me to do. When someone hurts me, I often push it down deep inside and years later, it will still make me just as angry as it did the day it happened. I read this piece of advice somewhere and copied and pasted it to a notepad. I read it often, hoping I can find the best way I can let go of the bitterness.
Christian forgiveness also encompasses action. Our confession with God involves us seeing our sins as He sees it, bringing God’s forgiveness. When we sin against others, we sin against God. For this reason, we ask God to forgive us of our sins, but we must also forgive our fellow man.
“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong” (1 John 1:9).
What guides Christian forgiveness if an offender is not willing to repent, when the victim has done nothing wrong? The Lord commands us to forgive, releasing the offense and the offender to Him. This is done in prayer to the Lord. God recognizes these situations with this Scripture.
“Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, ‘I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).
Powerful huh? It was to me.
For years, I was so bitter against an ex of mine. He hurt me. Deeply. I loved him with everything I had, and he took my heart and stomped on it like it meant nothing to him. I held it in. I hated him. I realized I was giving more of myself to the anger against him, than I did my incredible husband. I remembered all the times that he hurt me, lied to me, and cheated on me instead of seeing, that I have an amazing man who loves me, treats me like a queen, and would never cheat me. I have a husband who goes out of his way NOT to hurt me. I have a man who hates to see me cry. A man that I may not always agree with, but a man who I love very deeply.
I never thought I could forgive this person. But I did. And I realized along the way that God is bigger than anything that could hurt me. In fact, God is my neosporin. Except he heals all wounds, regardless of how deep they are.
Two quotes I love dearly... and have helped me throughout this process....
* Each experience is your life was absolutely necessary in order to have gotten you to the next place, and the next, and the next, up until this very moment.
* I release the past with ease, and I trust the process of life. I do not use yesterday's mental garbage to create tomorrow's experiences. I create fresh new thought and a fresh new life.
Great post! Sort of related, I watched this weeks' Private Practice. One of the characters experienced a brutal rape and assault and had been holding in SO much anger and fear toward the man who did it. He ended up coming into the hospital (where she is chief of staff) months later with a knife in his chest. He'd beaten up his girlfriend and she stabbed him to make him stop. Anyway, she had the choice of asking one of the doctors to just let him die. But, instead, she told the doctor to do everything to save him. Then, she convinced the girlfriend to go to the cops about her abuse (and his admission to his girlfriend of raping the other girl). He woke up handcuffed to his hospital bed with the chief of staff in his room. She looked at him and told him how she'd let him take so much from her and how angry she'd been. She talked about how she saw him as such a monster all this time, but in truth, he was a pitiful little man who had to beat up and rape women to feel like he was somebody. Then, she looked him in the eye and said, "I forgive you" and walked out. It was so powerful! It truly is amazing how much relief can be found in forgiving others. It can be SO hard at times (I, like most human beings, struggle all the time with this), but the reward is peace.
ReplyDeleteThat is amazing Amber. I guess something like that would really test your true forgiveness towards someone!! I pray that if I ever see people that hurt me, that I have peace about it. Thanks for the post Amber P!! :)
ReplyDeleteVery powerful! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAmber P - I loved that episode! Perfect example for this blog post too. =)