Monday, December 31, 2012

My wishes for 2013

I can't believe 2012 is coming to an end. 

A lot of good memories this year. 

Josh and I welcomed sweet baby Landry. Though his delivery brought a lot of emotions it brought a lot of happiness into this home. 

Made a few new friends. 

Lost touch with others. 

Friends and family members welcomed loved one's and said goodbye to others.

I have decided not to make resolutions this year. 
Instead I'm offering prayers. 

For 2013, I pray that God moves people or things out of my life, or into my life,
 in order to get closer to Him. 

I pray that I offer forgiveness to those I feel hurt by regardless of them asking for it. 

My prayer this year is not for more money, but that God continues to provide, just as He always has. 

I ask for grace to those that may not deserve it. 

Peace for those situations I just simple can't understand.

I ask for happiness for my home, and those around me. 

I pray for a gentle heart. 
and a gentle tongue. 

My prayer is that I am able to show my family and friends how much they mean to me and how much I value their friendship and support.

I pray for protection for my children, my husband, my friends, and myself.

I hope to find a new home church this year. One my family fits into and are able to thrive surrounded by God's Holy Spirit. 

I offer prayers for those struggling with finding a personal relationship with Christ. 

My prayer is that every time I say the words "I'm praying for you", I will do just that. 

I pray that I'm less judgmental in 2013. It's a trait I can never seem to shake. 

So many prayers for 2013.... 

But so many things to praise God for in 2012.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Toy Testing

I want to take part in toy testing.

Not for free toys. 

But because I spend $20 (or more) on a toy that my children can break or destroy in less than an hour. 

A brand new, now headless wrestling man

Companies are spending billions on machines that "test" these toys out and put them on the shelves to be sold to children who are obviously more destructive than a billion dollar piece of equipment. 

Please let me save you some money. 
Send the toys to my house. 

I can tell you in less than an hour if your toy will withstand toddlers. 

Oh, and video games for kids. Yeah... please send those game designers my way. My 6 year old has more critiques than Joan Rivers on Fashion Police. 

Helmets? Yes, we can test those out too. Apparently we need them around here. 

Perhaps those safety gadgets would be something to test out. I need 1 for each door frame please.

And clothes... If you want to know if jeans will get holes in the knees in a one season span, send them to this house. If you want to know if the shirt will cause a massive hole if the tag is ferociously ripped out, send it on... 

And last but not least... curtains and bedding. 

If you want to know if your seamstress are using the correct thread and doing a solid job sewing those curtains, send them to the Gilbert's. We can tell you if they can withstand a 45lb 6 year old pretending to be spiderman. We can tell you if your sheets and comforters are soft enough, strong enough for a fort, and can endure being peed on almost nightly. 

Please dear companies. Stop testing these toys, games, clothes and products on a piece of equipment. Send them to mama's who are actually going to really give these items the test run they deserve. 

Friday, December 28, 2012

Being a mom is hard! Being a Christian mom is even harder!

Let me say what most Christian mom's often think.

Kids make you wanna curse. 
Even those parents who don't curse have been known to swear occasionally.

And it really doesn't help that we have Christian woman who we are looking up too that never seem to bat an eye at the insane things children do. 

I'd love to say I gently remind my boys that coloring on the couch with permanent marker is not allowed in this house. 

It would be awesome not to flip my lid when they put the last 3 rolls of toilet paper in the potty because their army guys need a life ring. (Army guys that are under the 3 rolls of TP in the now clogged toilet)

And I'd love to remember the material items wont matter once I'm dead and gone as they are scratching my brand new 42" flat screen TV with fingernail clippers.

But reality is- I'm a yeller. 
I tend to fall back to yelling at the boys opposed to gently reminding them in my Christian Michele Duggar voice of what they should be doing or more often what they shouldn't be doing. 

I have recently deleted several blogs I have followed for years because they make me feel inadequate as a mother. They can bake, cook lavish meals, tend to their children, keep a spotless home, host Bible studies, and keep up a well written blog. 

I'm doing good to keep my kids alive most days. 

My goal in 2013 is to be gentle with my words, gentle with my hands, and honest with myself. 
If you've met my children you will know they don't get spankings like they probably should. 
But I've learned that sometimes the best discipline is a gentle tongue. 

I'm no longer looking at other mothers for advice. God gave me a heart that knows what my children need. He has given me instructions in a book I don't read as often as I should.

And I'm going to stop comparing myself to the mama's on pinterest, blogs, & facebook. 
I'm going to finally accept that I'm not perfect. I'm going to make mistakes. I'm going to have a messy house at times. I'm going to do things that others may think is wrong. And they may be right. But I'm going to figure it out along the way. 

At the end of the day God has given me a heart big enough to love 4 children and their daddy. And I can't imagine He would bless me with all this love and responsibility and not equipped me with the tools to raise them right. 

So if you're feeling down in the dumps today for doing all the wrong things in raising your kids and guaranteeing them to a life of therapy, fill your day with this verse 
"His divine power has given us everything we need for a Godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness." 
2 Peter 1:3

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Scarf Stealing Family Gathering...

Typical Family Gathering for Christmas...

First, the same person picked the number 1 ticket in the Chinese Gift Exchange for the past 2 years in a row and claimed it was a total coincidence (we all knew better- Her husband was holding the bucket too!). 
This same person stole my scarf. Yes, the most beautiful red crocheted scarf you've ever seen... stolen right out of my hands in front of my entire family. 

It's a shame you can't even trust family members now a days....

I'm totally kidding. Well... sorta. She really did pick the number 1 ticket for the past two years, and her husband really did give her the ticket out of the bucket. And she really did steal my scarf from me. 
But no one was really upset about it. Not enough to dedicate a whole blog about it anyway. ;) 
(But Enid, I better see pictures of you wearing that scarf) 

Trip to Georgia was fun. We stayed for 3 days and was able to see a lot of family while down. 

My mom's Christmas breakfast was changed up a bit but was still a ton of fun!! 
She goes WAY overboard with the gifts, but everyone looks forward to her house.. so I guess whatever she's doing is working.

I'm notorious for getting lost. I'm not sure how but I can get lost going to Wal-Mart. Mom got me the most appropriate gift this year. A GPS. I opened it up immediately and all that was in the box was a suction cup to hold the missing GPS on the windshield. We did some calling around and decided that Josh, myself and the boys would make a trip to Oakwood to exchange it. (Assuming we didn't get lost)
Because of the mishap, Wal-Mart not only gave me a new GPS but they upgraded my missing GPS with a newer model. How sweet is that? Good Job Wal-Mart. You have reinstated my faith in your chain. Sorta.

I forgot my camera. (Loosing things doesn't alway consist of just loosing myself. Sometimes it's other things, like camera, remote, papers, sanity etc.) So I'm having to use other people's pictures during all the festive events. Sorry guys!

My prayer is that my readers had a fabulous Christmas and are looking forward to a New Year full of new and exciting possibilities. I'll leave you with the pictures I was able to steal from my sister.
Mom opening Christian's gift. 2 bottles of her favorite perfume! 

The boys waiting to open presents. 

Sweet Payson

Gifts, Gifts, Gifts.

Playing with Payson!

My sweet Keira! 

Me and Payson playing with mom's "jingle jingle". 

Keira opening her present. 

Eating Paysons chin

Such a sweet girl

LOVE LOVE LOVE being an aunt!!! Of course, these girls make it easy! 
Opening Play-Doh for the girls. :) 

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Four Boys...

For the love of all things chocolate please don't let me hear "Four Boys????" again. 
I may burst into a ball of fire if I hear it one more time. 

For those who are obviously popping with questions, let me answer a few. 

Q: "Are you insane?"
A: Possibly. But I'm also insanely blessed.

Q: "How do you do it? I couldn't imagine having four boys."
A: Same way you raise 4 girls, or 2 girls and 2 boys. There is not a different guideline to raising all boys. This is because it's the EXACT same way you raise all children. 

Q: "Are you going to keep having kids until you get a boy?"
A: No. If we have more children it will be just that. We'll have children, not genders. 

Q: "Are you sad you didn't get a girl?"
A: Sometimes. When I see a cute girly dress and hair bow I do get a little sad. But then I see my boys, and how incredible wonderful they are wearing their skull printed shirt with converse shoes and remember they needed me more than I needed a girl. 

Q: "You know, certain positions can improve your chances of having a girl. Have you tried those?" 
(Yes, I get this question) 
A: My sex life is none of your business and NEVER appropriate to ask about. Period.

Q: "Would you have another baby for sure if you knew the next would be a girl"
A: Again, we don't have genders. We have children. So gender of the next child/children would not determine the size of our family. 

Q: "You know your being selfish for having so many kids, right?" 
(Not really a question, more of a really crappy opinion) 
A: Yes, I'm totally selfish. Deciding to have children is probably the LEAST selfish thing you can do as a person. You are taking a life that has always been about YOU and only YOU and filling your home with blessings. These blessings have their needs met first, you will always be last from the moment you give birth/adopt. So to call someone selfish for having children, regardless of how many is absurd. These people who make these types of comments are (in my opinion-which is not crappy) just ignorant people. 

Q: "How do you make each child feel special?"
A: My goal in raising my children is to always make them feel like they are the favorite child. This means figuring out your child's love language and speaking it daily. I take "dates" with my boys. (How can you expect them to know how to treat a lady if you don't teach them??) Doing this allows me special one on one time with each child. But most of the things I do to keep them feeling special are done daily in the little things.

Q: "How do you afford 4 kids?"
A: God has always provided. He has never left me because I "had too many kids". We have learned the hard way that we can't "keep up with the Jones'". We live within our means. We don't have the nicest cars on the road (but we also don't have an ugly car payment). We don't have fancy cell phones, or fancy clothes. We have only what we need (with a few luxuries like cable and internet) 

I could go on and on with the questions we get asked but I've got to get the oldest off the bus so that's all you get for now. I'm sure some narrow-minded people will give me plenty to add soon. 

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Everyone wants to win a free carrier, right?

Most mama's who have babies, especially those with more than one know how priceless a carrier is.
Here is your chance to win one! :)

Follow this link, and follow the directions to possibly get your own!!


Sunday, December 16, 2012


May God keep His arms around the town of Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut

As I woke up this morning my heart is still filled with such sadness. My eyes still randomly fill with tears and I feel a deep hurt for the parents of the children killed. My heart breaks for those sons or daughters who did not come home from work, wives that will never kiss their husbands again. I feel selfish for feeling such an overwhelming joy that my children are here, safe, and with me. 

I am trying to keep anger out of my heart. It's hard. It's so easy to be angry. Angry at the shooter. Angry at his mother. We don't know what went on that morning, or years before... we only know that he was mentally unstable. I say this not because the news report said it. I say it because anyone who walks into a school and kills 20 children and 8 adults before taking their own life has to have something mentally wrong with them. 

I question what I'm doing as a mother. I can't imagine raising children that kill others. Am I doing the right things? Am I teaching them the value of life the way I should that they never think about taking another life? 

I have questioned homeschooling. Should this be something we start doing? I typically do homeschooling up until pre-k (Except for my sweet Brennon who I thought needed the social interaction) Do I pull them away from their friends and teachers because I'm scared to send them? 
I don't know yet. 

I called the school Friday in tears when I heard about what happened in Connecticut. I needed to know Zachary was okay. (Brennon was at home sick) They must have thought I was off my rocker because I was a mess. But as a mother, at that very moment, I NEEDED to know he was safe. 
If he hadn't been out the week before with the flu, I would have picked him up early. I met him at the bus stop and held him for what seems like forever while I cried. I kissed him, and told him I loved him a billion times. I can't imagine not having the chance to do that. 

We know a lot about the shooter from the media. I wont even mention his name on this blog because he has had enough of the public eye. Instead, I will list the names of those people who were tragically taken away from this world way too soon. May God wrap His arms around those people close to them and hold them tight while offering peace and love. 

I will add photo's of the children, as I feel these are the faces we need to remember in this tragedy but I will only add those that are released by the family for the public.  

A glimpse of some of those who died:

Charlotte Bacon, 6
They were supposed to be for the holidays, but finally on Friday, after hearing much begging, Charlotte Bacon's mother relented and let her wear the new pink dress and boots to school.
It was the last outfit the outgoing redhead would ever pick out. Charlotte's older brother, Guy, was also in the school but was not shot.
Her parents, JoAnn and Joel, had lived in Newtown for four or five years, JoAnn's brother John Hagen, of Nisswa, Minn., told Newsday.
"She was going to go some places in this world," Hagen told the newspaper. "This little girl could light up the room for anyone."
Olivia Engel, 6
The images of Olivia Engel will live far beyond her short lifetime. There she is, visiting with Santa Claus, or feasting on a slice of birthday cake. There's the one of her swinging a pink baseball bat, and another posing on a boat. In some, she models a pretty white dress; in others, she makes a silly face.
Dan Merton, a longtime friend of the girl's family, says he could never forget the child, and he has much to say when he thinks of her.
"She loved attention," he said. "She had perfect manners, perfect table manners. She was the teacher's pet, the line leader."
On Friday, Merton said, she was simply excited to go to school and then return home and make a gingerbread house.
"Her only crime," he said, "is being a wiggly, smiley 6-year-old."
Dawn Hochsprung, 47, principal

Dawn Hochsprung's pride in Sandy Hook Elementary was clear. She regularly tweeted photos from her time as principal there, giving indelible glimpses of life at a place now known for tragedy. Just this week, it was an image of fourth-graders rehearsing for their winter concert; days before that, the tiny hands of kindergartners exchanging play money at their makeshift grocery store.
She viewed her school as a model, telling The Newtown Bee in 2010 that "I don't think you could find a more positive place to bring students to every day." She had worked to make Sandy Hook a place of safety, too, and in October, the 47-year-old Hochsprung shared a picture of the school's evacuation drill with the message "safety first." When the unthinkable came, she was ready to defend.
Officials said she died while lunging at the gunman in an attempt to overtake him.
"She had an extremely likable style about her," said Gerald Stomski, first selectman of Woodbury, where Hochsprung lived and had taught. "She was an extremely charismatic principal while she was here."
Madeleine Hsu, 6
Dr. Matthew Velsmid was at Madeleine's house on Saturday, tending to her stricken family. He said the family did not want to comment.
Velsmid said that after hearing of the shooting, he went to the triage area to provide medical assistance but there were no injuries to treat.
"We were waiting for casualties to come out, and there was nothing. There was no need, unfortunately," he said. "This is the darkest thing I've ever walked into, by far."
Velsmid's daughter, who attends another school, lost three of her friends.
Catherine Hubbard, 6
A family friend turned reporters away from the house, but Catherine's parents released a statement expressing gratitude to emergency responders and for the support of the community.
"We are greatly saddened by the loss of our beautiful daughter, Catherine Violet and our thoughts and prayers are with the other families who have been affected by this tragedy," Jennifer and Matthew Hubbard said. "We ask that you continue to pray for us and the other families who have experienced loss in this tragedy."
Chase Kowalski, 7
Chase Kowalski was always outside, playing in the backyard, riding his bicycle. Just last week, he was visiting neighbor Kevin Grimes, telling him about completing — and winning — his first mini-triathlon.
"You couldn't think of a better child," Grimes said.
Grimes' own five children all attended Sandy Hook, too. Cars lined up outside the Kowalskis' ranch home Saturday, and a state trooper's car idled in the driveway. Grimes spoke of the boy only in the present tense.
Nancy Lanza, 52, gunman's mother
She once was known simply for the game nights she hosted and the holiday decorations she put up at her house. Now Nancy Lanza is known as her son's first victim.
Kingston, N.H., Police Chief Donald Briggs Jr. said Nancy Lanza once lived in the community and was a kind, considerate and loving person. The former stockbroker at John Hancock in Boston was well-respected, Briggs said.
A neighbor, Rhonda Cullens, said she knew Nancy Lanza from get-togethers she had hosted to play Bunco, a dice game. She said her neighbor had enjoyed gardening.
"She was a very nice lady," Cullens said. "She was just like all the rest of us in the neighborhood, just a regular person."
Jesse Lewis, 6
Six-year-old Jesse Lewis had hot chocolate with his favorite breakfast sandwich — sausage, egg and cheese — at the neighborhood deli before going to school Friday morning.
Jesse and his parents were regulars at the Misty Vale Deli in Sandy Hook, Conn., owner Angel Salazar told The Wall Street Journal.
"He was always friendly; he always liked to talk," Salazar said.
Jesse's family has a collection of animals he enjoyed playing with, and he was learning to ride horseback.
Family friend Barbara McSperrin told the Journal that Jesse was "a typical 6-year-old little boy, full of life."
Ana Marquez-Greene, 6
A year ago, 6-year-old Ana Marquez-Greene was reveling in holiday celebrations with her extended family on her first trip to Puerto Rico. This year will be heartbreakingly different.
The girl's grandmother, Elba Marquez, said the family moved to Connecticut just two months ago, drawn from Canada, in part, by Sandy Hook's sterling reputation. The grandmother's brother, Jorge Marquez, is mayor of a Puerto Rican town and said the child's 9-year-old brother also was at the school but escaped safely.
Elba Marquez had just visited the new home over Thanksgiving and is perplexed by what happened. "What happened does not match up with the place where they live," she said.
A video spreading across the Internet shows a confident Ana hitting every note as she sings "Come, Thou Almighty King." She flashes a big grin and waves to the camera when she's done.
Jorge Marquez confirmed the girl's father is saxophonist Jimmy Greene, who wrote on Facebook that he was trying to "work through this nightmare."
"As much as she's needed here and missed by her mother, brother and me, Ana beat us all to paradise," he wrote. "I love you sweetie girl."
James Mattioli, 6
The upstate New York town of Sherrill is thinking of Cindy Mattioli, who grew up there and lost her son James in the school shooting in Connecticut.
"It's a terrible tragedy, and we're a tight community," Mayor William Vineall told the Utica Observer-Dispatch. "Everybody will be there for them, and our thoughts and prayers are there for them."
James' grandparents, Jack and Kathy Radley, still live in the city, the newspaper reported.
Anne Marie Murphy, 52, teacher
A happy soul. A good mother, wife and daughter. Artistic, fun-loving, witty and hardworking.
Remembering their daughter, Anne Marie Murphy, her parents had no shortage of adjectives to offer Newsday. When news of the shooting broke, Hugh and Alice McGowan waited for word of their daughter as hours ticked by. And then it came.
Authorities told the couple their daughter was a hero who helped shield some of her students from the rain of bullets. As the grim news arrived, the victim's mother reached for her rosary.
"You don't expect your daughter to be murdered," her father told the newspaper. "It happens on TV. It happens elsewhere."
Emilie Parker, 6

Quick to cheer up those in need of a smile, Emilie Parker never missed a chance to draw a picture or make a card.
Her father, Robbie Parker, fought back tears as he described the beautiful, blond, always-smiling girl who loved to try new things, except foods.
Parker, one of the first parents to publicly talk about his loss, expressed no animosity for the gunman, even as he struggled to explain the death to his other two children, ages 3 and 4. He's sustained by the fact that the world is better for having had Emilie in it.
"I'm so blessed to be her dad," he said.
Noah Pozner, 6
The way Noah Pozner's parents saw it, no schools in New York could compare with those in Newtown, a relative told Newsday. So they moved their family — Noah, his twin sister and his 8-year-old sister.
"At this stage, two out of three survived. ... That's sad," said Noah's uncle Arthur Pozner, of New York City's Brooklyn borough. "The reason they moved to that area is because they did not consider any school in New York state on the same level. That's one of the reasons they moved, for safety and education."
Noah's siblings were also students there but were not hurt. Noah's uncle recalled him as "extremely mature."
"When I was his age, I was not like him," Pozner told the newspaper. "Very well brought up. Extremely bright. Extremely bright."
Lauren Gabrielle Rousseau, 30, teacher
Lauren Rousseau had spent years working as a substitute teacher and doing other jobs. So she was thrilled when she finally realized her goal this fall to become a full-time teacher at Sandy Hook.
Her mother, Teresa Rousseau, a copy editor at the Danbury News-Times, released a statement Saturday that said state police told them just after midnight that she was among the victims.
"Lauren wanted to be a teacher from before she even went to kindergarten," she said. "We will miss her terribly and will take comfort knowing that she had achieved that dream."
Her mother said she was thrilled to get the job.
"It was the best year of her life," she told the newspaper.
Rousseau has been called gentle, spirited and active. She had planned to see "The Hobbit" with her boyfriend Friday and had baked cupcakes for a party they were to attend afterward. She was born in Danbury, and attended Danbury High, college at the University of Connecticut and graduate school at the University of Bridgeport.
She was a lover of music, dance and theater.
"I'm used to having people die who are older," her mother said, "not the person whose room is up over the kitchen."
Mary Sherlach, 56, school psychologist

When the shots rang out, Mary Sherlach threw herself into the danger.
Janet Robinson, the superintendent of Newtown Public Schools, said Sherlach and the school's principal ran toward the shooter. They lost their own lives, rushing toward him.
Even as Sherlach neared retirement, her job at Sandy Hook was one she loved. Those who knew her called her a wonderful neighbor, a beautiful person, a dedicated educator.
Her son-in-law, Eric Schwartz, told the South Jersey Times that Sherlach rooted on the Miami Dolphins, enjoyed visiting the Finger Lakes, relished helping children overcome their problems. She had planned to leave work early on Friday, he said, but never had the chance. In a news conference Saturday, he told reporters the loss was devastating, but that Sherlach was doing what she loved.
"Mary felt like she was doing God's work," he said, "working with the children."
Victoria Soto, 27, teacher

She beams in snapshots. Her enthusiasm and cheer was evident. She was doing, those who knew her say, what she loved.
And now, Victoria Soto is being called a hero.
Though details of the 27-year-old teacher's death remained fuzzy, her name has been invoked again and again as a portrait of selflessness and humanity among unfathomable evil. Those who knew her said they weren't surprised by reports she shielded her first-graders from danger.
"She put those children first. That's all she ever talked about," said a friend, Andrea Crowell. "She wanted to do her best for them, to teach them something new every day."
Photos of Soto show her always with a wide smile, in pictures of her at her college graduation and in mundane daily life. She looks so young, barely an adult herself. Her goal was simply to be a teacher.
"You have a teacher who cared more about her students than herself," said Mayor John Harkins of Stratford, the town Soto hailed from and where more than 300 people gathered for a memorial service Saturday night. "That speaks volumes to her character, and her commitment and dedication

Thursday, December 13, 2012

I will praise Him in this storm...

Sleep deprivation has caused me to become angry. 

I'm angry at everyone and everything in my path. I walked to the car and was angry at the tree for standing so still and looking too relaxed. 

No one can say or do the right things. 

I'm exhausted. 

The medium from nice to fire spitting mad is so thin I can't decide where one stops and the other begins. 

It's not pleasant. 

I'm not pleasant. 

But I woke up this morning with peace. Even though our 3rd child woke up with the flu, I'm still at peace. I didn't have anger that I would be dealing with yet another week of fevers, runny noses, and coughs. I was happy for both Brennon and Tripp that they at least could play together in the quarantined room. 

And I wasn't angry that my house looked like a tornado hit it. I was thankful I wasn't sick myself and able to clean it today. I wasn't angry at anyone. I was in awe of what this house has been through and that despite it all, I still had 5 kids (including the little girl I watch) that still had smiles on their faces... and that Landry and Ruby so far are showing no signs of the flu. I still had a husband who comes home from work and gives me afternoon kisses before hustling around to help get the place back in order. 

But all this is because I gave God my problems last night. 

I asked for prayers all week yet only talked to Him a couple of times. I angrily thanked him when Brennon fell sick, saying I didn't have the energy for it, but thanks anyway. Yet despite my bad attitude, He laid his hands upon Brennon and kept him uncharacteristically okay through it all. 

So thank you for those of you who did offer prayers.

The song that has been playing over and over again in my head is Casting Crowns. It's called
"I will praise you in this storm"

And I'm singing it as I tend to babies, clean the house, and look around at all my many blessings. 

I am thankful for a God who knows when my heart is burdened. A God who loves me during my worst times. A God who can offer calm during any storm. And a God who cares for me even when I don't deserve it. 

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Oh Facebook....

Facebook brings a lot of good in my life..

I am able to connect with family members and friends that live hours away and I can't see as much as I'd like.

I get to watch their children grow up....
And I get to see all the incredibly cute things they are saying and doing.

You get to see how pretty, ugly, skinny and fat your ex's girlfriends or wives are too.
(yes, I said it) 

But facebook has a dark side.

It is also a highway to jealousy, envy, curiosity and frustration.

Let me explain.

Facebook has what is often referred to as a stalker feed. 
This stalker feed is located on the right of your newsfeed and shows everything that is posted among your friends. Anything John Doe posts to their friends (even if they aren't YOUR friend) will be posted here. Nothing is private really.

And so you see that the person you thought didn't have a facebook does in fact have a facebook.

Or the person you thought was your friend on facebook is no longer your friend on facebook.

Or even worse, you see with your nosey little eyes that a friend is talking about you or another friend of yours thinking you can't see it.

See what I mean? 

I'm a woman. 
And 99% of the women I know will look at anything they find "interesting". 
Even if it means being hurt in doing so.

I learned this lesson recently. 

And it kinda burned.

I was hurt.

I haven't been the best of friend to people I love and care about in the past. 

But I have always tried. 

I don't always say the right thing and I have moments where I'm not the best example of a Christian. But I try. I am human and I wont ever say all the right things or do all the right things.. Maybe I did hurt friends. Maybe I didn't say all the things you needed to hear. But I cared. 

I am grateful for the people in my life currently that appreciate the fact that I'm real.
They love me for my mistakes and for my imperfections. 

I think I've weeded out all those people who don't truly appreciate the friendship we have had... and I feel okay about who I connect with nowadays. 

I am trying to let go of bitterness though.

I feel lied too.
I'm embarrassed that I gave so much time and energy to a friendship that means nothing to them now.

I feel ridiculous that I tried hanging onto a friendship that dissolved because they had things going on that I just couldn't understand.
I understand that personal tragedies and trials can change a person, but I hate seeing someone I love and care about turn into someone I don't even recognize.
I hate feeling like I've done something wrong when I don't really feel like I have.

To the person who has my heart feeling heavy today....

I cried for you, prayed for you and would have taken the pain you were bearing away in a heartbeat.
And I'm sorry if I wasn't the best of friend to you when you needed me.

And while I feel a bit puzzled of the exact reasons friendships have fallen apart, I am thankful for the time we were close.
 I guess there was time when those friendships were needed. (at least on my part)

I'm not mad though. I'm only hurt.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. The transitions are necessary, but not always easy.

Holy Flu

Our house has been infected with the flu. 
and another stomach bug. 
and pink eye.

I'm pretty convinced at this point that we are going to have to burn this house down in order to rid the place of germs. 

Two weeks ago Landry and Josh caught the stomach bug. 

Last Sunday was Tripp's 3rd birthday and we were excited about making a Mr. Potato Head cake and spending the day opening gifts and seeing family.  

The flu had other plans.

Zachary started having febrile seizures early afternoon and after a few hours of battling a high fever, we took off to the ER. When we arrived, his fever was 103.8 and he was still having seizures. 

He was tested for strep and the flu. 

Flu came back positive, strep was neg.

So our plans changed a bit. Sunday was spent with Zachary hoarded off to the guest room,
The rest of the week was a doozy.

We battled off and on fevers sometimes reaching as high as 105.3. It was scary.

Friday he still wasn't well, so we went back to the doctors.

As Gilbert luck would have it he had developed a secondary infection.
Upper Respiratory Infection and an ear infection.
Nothing a little antibiotics wont clear up.

We hung around the house Saturday and Sunday just to make sure everyone was well.

Sunday evening Brennon spiked a fever and I knew despite all my efforts, he too had the flu.

The past two days have been spent battling fevers, his also reaching up to 105+.

Under the arm- add a degree making his temp 104.8
I'm trying to keep his asthma under control as best as possible to avoid another 7 day stay in the hospital. Last years flu didn't seem quite as bad as this years so I'm doing everything I can to keep him from getting a secondary infection as well.

I have been infected as well. Thankfully, not with the flu but a messily sinus infection.

Thank The good Lord above for antibiotics!

Praying no one else catches this flu bug. Besides the fact that I hate seeing my children sick, I'm not sure I can take another week or more of this mess.

Word of advice for those of you who haven't caught this bug yet?

Get a bubble to crawl into....

or... at the very least..

Lysol your buggies, or stay at home if possible.

 It's everywhere!!

If you don't believe me, ride by the ER and take a head count of all the people wearing flu masks.

And how to tell the difference in a cold and flu?

Stay Well Guys!!