Sunday, March 27, 2011

Grumpy Doing What You Love?

As days pass being at home with my boys, I am increasingly becoming more and more grumpy about my "job". Day in and day out, I wash dishes, clean floors, wash clothes, dry clothes, make breakfast, clean up breakfast, make beds, dust baseboards, dust ceiling fans, fix lunch, clean up from lunch, wash more clothes, fold all the clothes, clean the playroom, clean the bedrooms, pick up books for the hundredth time, clean out the fridge, make supper, clean up from supper, sweep floors, clean bathrooms, wipe butts, clean tubs, and the list goes on and on...  Problem is, this is the job I chose. I complain about a job I love. Sure, days are rough throughout the week, but honestly, who doesn't have days when they want to quit and find something  a little easier? I love to work. I love going to a "normal" paying job everyday. It's actually easier!!! At least there I can clock in, and clock out. I get sick time, paid vacations, and I clean up after myself and myself only. But my desire to work at a 9-5 job is less than my desire to make a difference in my children's life. I look forward to the day they are old enough to really understand that I love them so much that I wanted to take on this incredible yet difficult "job" as their mommy day in and day out.

I speak of my friend on here often. Yes, I will just call her "my friend" for now. She is a Godly mother, who understands my bad days, and reminds me that I really do have more good ones than bad. She also has an incredible ability to remind me weekly not to become a martyr. (Hope I spelled that right) And I notice, I do it often. Instead of being thankful for the laundry, I complain about it. Instead of being grateful for food to eat, I complain about cleaning up the mess breakfast causes. I do this with everything I touch. I think I'm starting to get the idea. And this week, my goal is to become less of a Martyr and more of a mother. A mother my boys will be proud of. The mother I want to be to my children!

I put additional stress on myself but complain about it to my family. I am planning a yard sale this Saturday. I have a lot of kids clothes to sell, toys, household stuff I just need to get rid of. So this week it will be a great week for a fresh start, and instead of saying I'm grateful for things, actually showing my gratitude. For those reading this, I may need a reminder about this blog on Wednesday! :)