Sunday, April 3, 2011

Toxic Friendships....

Recently, I had a "slap in the face" from a friend. Not literal, but it might as well have been. I am not a perfect friend, in fact, I'm probably not a very good friend most of the time. I try to be there when friends need me. I live a bit of a hectic life, and sometimes I hear the phone and just can't answer, or I do manage to make it to the phone only to have to let them go without really saying anything at all because I can't hear them over the screaming or crying coming from the boys. I often say "I'll call you right back" and I forget for hours... or sometimes a full day. But my close, true friends, understand all this and love me just the same. They are still there for me when I need them... and I never feel like I'm a burden to them when I call about my pet peeves, or irritations for the week (or sometimes days). 

I have been heavy hearted about the choice to let this friendship go since we had our fallen out. The day it happened, I was tired from trying to make the friendship work that I was almost relived that it was over. I know that sounds awful, but at times, this friendship had been exhausting. A few days later, I started to question if friendships are worth the work you put into them. That answer is yes. Some anyway. I read once about "toxic friendships" and I believe some friendships are better left as old friendships... mere acquaintances. 

But when do you realize who those toxic friends are? Here are 10 different types of "toxic friends". 

1. The Phony: Always pretending to be something she's not

2. The User: Uses you for her own purposes or goals

3. The Betrayer: Double-crosses you and stabs you in the back  

4. The Cheater: Steals or messes around with your romantic partner 

5. The Exposer: Discloses  your confidences, tells your personal business

6. The Abuser: Abuses you verbally, physcially, sexually, emotionally 

7. The Self-Centered: Concerned with her own wants and needs not yours
8. The Criticizer: Extremely critical and finds fault in everything you do  
9. The Regulator: Needs to control you and the friendship

10. The One Upper: Always trying to be one up on you 

How are you feeling today about your toxic friend? How were you feeling yesterday?
And of course, think about how you might feel tomorrow?

Based on your overall feelings...

Is your toxic friendship really worth holding onto.....

Yep... lots of praying to be done about this.....