Sunday, December 30, 2012

Toy Testing

I want to take part in toy testing.

Not for free toys. 

But because I spend $20 (or more) on a toy that my children can break or destroy in less than an hour. 

A brand new, now headless wrestling man


Companies are spending billions on machines that "test" these toys out and put them on the shelves to be sold to children who are obviously more destructive than a billion dollar piece of equipment. 

Please let me save you some money. 
Send the toys to my house. 

I can tell you in less than an hour if your toy will withstand toddlers. 

Oh, and video games for kids. Yeah... please send those game designers my way. My 6 year old has more critiques than Joan Rivers on Fashion Police. 


Helmets? Yes, we can test those out too. Apparently we need them around here. 



Perhaps those safety gadgets would be something to test out. I need 1 for each door frame please.

And clothes... If you want to know if jeans will get holes in the knees in a one season span, send them to this house. If you want to know if the shirt will cause a massive hole if the tag is ferociously ripped out, send it on... 

And last but not least... curtains and bedding. 

If you want to know if your seamstress are using the correct thread and doing a solid job sewing those curtains, send them to the Gilbert's. We can tell you if they can withstand a 45lb 6 year old pretending to be spiderman. We can tell you if your sheets and comforters are soft enough, strong enough for a fort, and can endure being peed on almost nightly. 

Please dear companies. Stop testing these toys, games, clothes and products on a piece of equipment. Send them to mama's who are actually going to really give these items the test run they deserve.