Update to end the year

It's a few hours until 2012. I figured it was a perfect time to post an update of how things are going. 

I have spent the past week in bed sick with a possible cold/sinus infection. I went to the doctor on Thursday to hopefully get some medicine to help speed this mess along. It tops my worst doctor visit list. I saw a doctor named Dr. Ketchen at Carolina OBGYN. Her beside manners were about as bad as Dr. White's from the same practice. I have a sinking suspicion they are related. Perhaps siblings. 

Needless to say, that second visit from the same practice left a bad taste in my mouth and has caused me to change OBGYN's. It's actually quite difficult to change to another practice being 20 weeks pregnant. A lot of people wont accept you. However, with permission from their office manager I have an appointment with a place called "Woman's Clinic" for Thursday. I am very excited as I have heard great reviews from a local mama board I'm a member of. Not only have the doctors been given awesome reviews, so has the office staff. 

In other news.... 

We have decided to start decorating the boys rooms after the new year. We are letting them have a lot of say so of what it looks like. Of course that will be tweaked a bit to help blend in with the rest of the house. We will wait on painting the living room/kitchen until after their rooms are finished. Thank Goodness for Ebay, Craigslist and Goodwill!! I'm hoping to finish the rooms off pretty frugal. Here are the ideas so far. 

This is one Zachary really likes. He has a full size bed so the cute firetruck bed will have to be changed. 

His favorite part is the color. 

Tripp likes this room. (He's into anything transportation) We aren't too sure about having a mural on the wall so not sure how this would work. Not to mention, the green color on the bottom of the room is the same color we were thinking of using in the living room. 

And my sweet Brennon. Who is simple. He likes this room because Zachary would have a bed just like his and sleep in the same room. Such a sweet boy. 

And I really like this for the master...  Not quite sure what I'd do with the fireplace in our room though... Lots of time to think about it I'm sure. :) 

And last... the nursery. I like this one but I'm not sure if yellow would be too girly is this little bean is a boy. I have some yellow in my bedding... I'm just not sure. 

This is my bedding. I dont really want to use green or blue since we will be using it in the boys room or living room. Still pondering on this one... 

So that's a run down of whats been floating around  in this brain of mine.... I have a few other things but I feel those deserve their own blog entry. 

I hope you all have a wonderful 2012!! 

Halfway there....

I'm 20 weeks today. 

Officially halfway there. 

Unofficially less than half way there since I have my babies a couple of weeks early.

Here is my updated weekly pictures. 

I'll post a real blog entry later. 

Christmas Time....

Christmas is a holiday I always look forward to. Even more so now that I live so far away from family and friends.

Christmas also brings a lot of different personalities together that sometimes clash. We can love our family members and still not always like them. Reality is, loving someone doesn't mean you will always like them and agree with them.

This year I realized something. Actually, a few things....

1. I still have a temper. It takes a lot more to make me so angry that I "loose" it momentarily, but I still have it. I am pretty sure it's always going to be deep down in my blood. I think instead of working on my temper, I should spend more time working on how I respond when I start to boil. 

2. I love my sister more than I realize. When I feel like her heart is breaking, mine does. When I feel like she is sad, it makes me sad. When I know she's happy, my heart could burst with happiness for her. I truly love her. 

3. There has only been a small (and I mean tiny) amount of people who have changed my first impression of them. The rest, I was 100% correct about. 

4. Lazy people are so eager to call our someone else's faults. I guess it's easy to sit on the couch and think about everything else people do that you don't like. 

5. I should make a public announcement that no one has to "walk on egg shells" around me. I simply ask for the same respect that you expect from others. If "walking on egg shells" means waiting to say something behind my back instead of to my face because you are to much of a coward to hear the truth about yourself, well... I suppose you probably SHOULD "walk on egg shells" around me. 

6. I dislike more than anything else butt kissers. People who take crap from other people because that person makes more money than you. It's pathetic and degrading. 

7. My mom has the biggest heart in the entire world. She spends so much time, money and energy making Christmas perfect for everyone. I hope she knows that it doesn't go unnoticed. I love that she loves my boys like her own. Wait... not like her own... better than her own children. She was an amazing mom, but she is the most incredible Nana any kid could ever have. 

Okay, I think that's all the important ones. 

Here are some quick pictures of our Christmas. I'll try to caption them as I add them. :) 

I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas this year. 

                                                              

Josh and me at Mema & Papa's. 

My niece Keira! 

My niece Payson! 

Christmas Morning! I think they were actually shocked that Santa brought them toys. 

Christmas at Pa and Nana's house. (Left from right) Kolin, Brennon, Tripp, Kaylee, & Zachary. 

Rainy Day....

On most days that are filled with rain and storms I find myself getting super depressed and tired. 

It drains me completely. 

I have zero energy. 

And zero motivation. 

Today however, as the rain pours down, I am reminded that God has promised to wash away my sins and my short comings. I am reminded that with each bad day brings a good one. 

Yesterday was a rough day for me.

 Emotionally I was a mess. 

I felt trapped in a world I didn't understand, and serving a God who I felt like at times wasn't hearing my prayers. I knew He had not left me. Yet I wanted to curse him in anger and frustration. 

I don't "get" circumstances, and people, and life in general at times. Fact is, I'm not supposed too. 

I'm serving an awesome God who has everything figured out. And here I sit worrying and stressing about the smallest details of life. 

I believe God is allowing me to get to the lowest of lows so He can be there to pick me up and show me a better life. A life filled with less sorrow, more understanding, love and peace of mind regarding things I can't control. 

I went to bed with a heavy heart, praying for peace and understanding. I woke up this morning with the sound of rain drops hitting my window and knowing that God was there, as He has always been, promising to wash away yesterday as He did to my heart. 

 God is good ALL THE TIME. 

Goodbye facebook... for a while. :)

I deactivated my facebook. 

First time in the 7+ years I've had it. 

And honestly, it feels good. 

If you want to contact me, you can do so at ladybugamber@yahoo.com

Most of my friends have my number... but if not, shoot me an email and I'll get it to you. 

2nd Trimester!!!

I'm so excited about today. I am officially in my 2nd trimester!!

I've taken pictures of my belly each week and I've found myself comparing them to my previous pregnancy bellies. Looks about the same expect I'm more "rounder" this time around.

Here are my shots. 

I'm finally starting to have some relief from HG. I'm only sick about 5-7 times a day, which is awesome because I am able to finally keep some stuff down. I've gained 2lbs! I never thought I'd be so excited to gain weight but when you have lost 14lbs, 2lbs is HUGE! 

I wish I could write more, but everyone in this house is "sick". Josh had his wisdom teeth removed Thursday, and Brennon is having some issues with his asthma due to the weather changing so quickly. Tripp is whinny... and Zachary is a typical 5 year old. :) 

I'll post more when I can. 

Oh, and here is a belly shot from my 1st pregnancy at 14 weeks and the one I took this morning with Baby#4 at 14 weeks. About the same to me? 

Answered Prayers

I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.

1 Samuel 1:27-28

Today this blog entry is mostly my prayer for my children....

I place my children within Your hands and your keeping... 

Continue to give me the wisdom I need to guide their steps on Your pathway and to help them know Your plan and purpose for their whole lives.

Knowing that I can bring to You the prayers of my heart-carrying with them my deepest longings and strongest desires-is a great blessing.You have heard my heart's cry for a family, and You have given me, through my children, more than I could ask or dream. 

Thank You.

What a blessing and joy each one is to me. They help me in so many ways to see that understand Your heart more clearly. 

Thank you for Your full, generous, and giving heart. Thank you that You invite them, encourage them, and welcome them to come to You in prayer, to sit at Your table, and be in Your presence. 

As I pray for my children, I am reminded of the importance of living an honorable life and of giving honor to whom honor is due. I pray that You give children sensitive and caring hearts for others that will bring honor to others. Help them be honorable in their actions and attitudes and be generously responsive to the needs of others. May they, in their submission to You, be careful to show respect to those who have been placed over them. 

May they be wise students, productive workers, good citizens, supportive team members and respected companions. Help them to know how to follow so that they will learn how to lead. Help them know how to give so they will know how to prosper. Help them know how to bend, so they can stand tall. 

Teach them to walk as You walked and to honor their Father in heaven as You honored Him when you walked on earth. May their days be long, may their hearts be full, may their lives be enriched, and may their blessings be abundant. 

It can always be worse....

If everyone were to lay their problems and struggles on a table and look around we would gladly pick ours back up. 

Everyone has it bad at times.

Everyone struggles.

Sometimes the struggles are hard.

Sometimes the struggles are even harder. 

To the person who is concerned about needing a 2nd vehicle-

There is someone who walks their children to school and then walks to work everyday because they can't afford 1 car. 

To the person who just told their mom they hated her-

The girl down the street has grown up without her mom, who died of cancer when she was 4. 

To the person who just experienced their first miscarriage-

The lady on a pregnancy board just learned she had her 2nd tubal pregnancy and can't even try for a baby of her own.

To the person who is complaining about being too fat by their 8th month of pregnancy-

A lady down the road has been waiting 2 years to adopt a child.  

Point is.... 

It can always be worse.


I am guilty of being stuck in my self pitty, sad about things other call a blessing, and wondering if God could have sent me something better. Truth be known, I am truly blessed.

And I am forever grateful. 

First Trimester Nesting?

I will never be compared to Betty Crocker nor Martha Stewart. I can cook just enough to get by and I can sew some awesome pillows and curtains. Asking me to sew anything else would be a joke. Yet during the past week I've found myself "craving" to cook. Cook things I wont even eat. I want to make baked chicken with garlic cloves and basel. I want to make homemade crock pot mac & cheese, homemade chili, and biscuits that don't come from a can. My desire to make the cut little snow men cake tops I saw on pintrest is consuming me. I have saved more recipe sites on the internet in the past 2 days than I have my entire life.   I want to cook. I want to take down my sign that reads "I only have a kitchen because it came with the house" and hang aprons from the hook instead. I'm so glad I coupon. This could be a serious problem otherwise. 

And then there is sewing. I want to make a King size comforter for my bed that is fluffy, and beautiful. I want curtains and pillows galore! I want to sew a dust ruffle (even though they are totally off limits at my house since they serve no purpose but collecting dust) 

I want to re-do my fireplace and make it look pretty again. I want to buy a million picture frames of all shapes and sizes and spray paint them complementing colors and hang them all over this house. I wont even get started on what my mind is doing to my boys rooms. ha ha. 

I'm not sure if I should consider this some sort of "first-trimester nesting"or what... But I'm enjoying it while it lasts!!

I'm going to take before pictures of the house just in case I act on my desires and start changing everything in sight. :) 

Old Wives Tales to determine pregnancy? Here are mine!!

Gender Predictors & Results

**Please remember, these are all supposed to be for fun. Do not have babies if you are not okay with either gender! There is no way to know for sure until you get an ultrasound and/or deliver**

Acne:

Are you glowing during pregnancy or is the baby stealing your beauty? Girls are said to steal their mother’s beauty so if you are having serious acne issues, expect a girl.

Answer: GIRL (looks like I may be carrying 5 baby girls then)

Heart rate: 

Take the baby's heart rate during pregnancy for gender clues. A girl baby has a fast heart rate, around 170 beats per minute. A boy baby's heart rate is closer to 150 beats per minute.

Answer: GIRL (baby’s heartbeat was 180)

Wedding ring test: 

Hang your wedding ring from a string and hold it over your belly. If the ring swings in a circle motion, you are having a girl. If the ring swings back and forth, it is a boy.

Answer: GIRL

Key test:

Pick up a key. If you grabbed it by the top, you are having a boy. If you picked it up by the bottom, the baby is a girl. Picking the key up in the middle means that you will have twins.

Answer: BOY

Garlic test:

Eat a clove of garlic. If eating the clove makes you exude a strong garlic scent, you will have a boy. If there is little to no odor, you will have a girl.

Answer: GIRL

Chinese Chart:

We all know this chart. Google it.

Answer: BOY

Baking Soda:

Mix 1tsp of baking soda and urine and see if it fizzles. If you get fizzle, expect a boy. If nothing happens, a girl will make her appearance.

Answer: GIRL

  Cravings:

Craving Sweets? A prince is baking. Craving salty and spicy? A princess is due.

Answer: GIRL

Dreams:

If you dream about a girl, you’ll have a boy. If your dreams are about a boy, you’ll have a girl.

Answer: BOY

The Mayan Tale:


If you are Mayan then you may follow their beliefs and use numbers to determine the sex of your baby. The Mayans take the mothers age at conception and the year of conception and add them together. If the result is a even number then mom is having a girl. If the result is an odd number then a boy is on the way! The Chinese have a similar way of determining the sex of a baby.

Answer: BOY

Ramzi Method:

Which side is your placenta on? Left means girl, Right means Boy.

Answer: GIRL

Hair Line Gender Predictor:

If your child's hair line goes straight across, your next child will be the same gender. If it comes to a point, you will have the opposite gender. 

Answer: GIRL

That’s all I’ll post at the moment… as the pregnancy progresses, I’ll update this list. Please know, I do not believe any of these hold true. It’s really a 50/50 chance. 

I fully expect to have another boy. :) 

Appointment was awesome!

There is something about seeing your baby healthy on an ultrasound that makes all the morning sickness worth it. This is our beautiful baby boy or girl unaffected by the issues I am having. 

I met my new doctor today. She was amazing! She talked to me in detail about what was going on. She looked through my chart, and then looked through my chart again. We talked about the medicine I was currently on and she suggested a few others I could try. 

She took this very serious. And for that I am thankful. 

Because of the type of insurance I have, I will need an approval for a Zofran pump. She stated she would go ahead and try to get that approval for me. Hopefully by Friday I will know the status of it. 

She talked about what to do until then. She isn't against the PICC line, but wants to try the pump first. I will have my thyroid checked as well just to make sure everything is working as it should. 

I don't have a lot of answers at this very moment. But I have hope. And right now, that's the best thing I could ask for. 

I hope my appointment on Friday brings even more answers, and even more relief. 

I promise to keep you guys updated. 

How you get through dinner with HG

Yes, I'm serious. 

Normally the smell of turkey in the crock pot would make my mouth water. I LOVE turkey. Any other time I would be as giggly as a kid on Christmas morning. However, living with Hypereremesis the smell of dinner cooking in the kitchen is enough to make me start an all day throwing up session. So this is how I cope. 

Excuse the way I look. I have just got out of the shower (which was also torture as the heat made me sick) and I have zero makeup on. I'm surprised my eyes aren't completely bloodshot due to throwing up. 

I'm excited and nervous about my doctor appointment tomorrow morning. I'm ready for some reassurance. I'm ready to know that I have a doctor I can call on those really bad days and will do whatever they can to help me. I am nervous though because of my last visit. Saying a prayer this new doctor will take this serious. 

I want to add how incredibly blessed I am to have a husband who will pick up the slack while I'm dealing with all this mess. He doesn't complain either. He just does it. He is washing clothes, dishes, and helping with the boys. I have become a permeant fixture to both the bathroom and the couch. I could not go through this without him. He's amazing! Thanks babe for all that you do. I know how frustrating this is for you. I really do. And I will be forever grateful for the help you are giving. 

I sure do miss my OBGYN Dr. Bailey right about now.....

I spent the better part of my teenage years looking for a doctor who didn't say the words "You'll never have children" in our first appointment. Endrometriosis had effected my life so much already, and I refused to believe God would give me the desire to become a mother and raise lots of babies and never bless me with a fruitful womb. I can't recall every doctor I saw, but I do know that I went to every doctor in my area, and those within an hour drive each direction. None seemed like they were willing to help me. And then I met Dr. Bailey at Lakeside OBGYN. I can only compare my first appointment with Dr. Bailey to the first time I met my husband. (well... the first time I met him when I was old enough and wise enough to get to know him) It was "love" at first chat. No, I'm not in love with my OBGYN. Not like that anyway. But after we spoke for the first time, he looked at me and said "I will never tell you that you will carry a baby, but I also will never tell you that you won't." I KNEW at that very moment, I had finally found the doctor I had been looking for. You can read my first blog entry for all the details after that visit.

Lets fast forward to yesterday.

I went to my new OBGYN (in another state) and was nervous after my diagnosis I was given the previous night but hopeful that I would be able to grasp what was happening to my body. I got weighed, to which I saw that in 2 weeks I had lost 11lbs, and went into the exam room. I waited and within a few minutes Dr. White walked in. He never introduced himself but instead looked at me puzzled and asked "Now why are you here again?" I, now just as confused as he was, began to explain that I had been to the ER twice in one week, and the previous night had been told by the OBGYN at the hospital that I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I handed him the paper they had given me at the hospital with the diagnosis on it hoping it would ring a bell. (The OBGYN I saw at the hospital told me he would be speaking to Dr. White and explaining the situation before my visit) Dr. White glances at the page and half way throws the paper back to me explaining I do NOT have HG. In fact, he proceeded to tell me I had a virus. Or perhaps just a weak stomach. It would pass around 14 weeks into the pregnancy. I am now fighting back tears. Tears of frustration, tears of anger. I KNEW this feeling. The feeling of realization that yet another doctor would not be helping me figure things out. I would say I would make this story short, however the visit itself lasted about 10 minutes tops, so I'll finish it. He then proceeded to tell me that all I could take was Zofran, to which I explained to him I had been taking and has now stopped working. With zero sympathy he tells me that's all I can take and he doesn't know what to tell me. I immediately begin to cry. Not the quiet crying, but the sobbing uncontrollably kind of crying. He isn't affected. I asked him what am I supposed to do now? The Zofran isn't working, the phenergan isn't working, and I'm still making a trip to the ER twice a week. His response? "Well I guess you'll be making a lot of trips to the ER for fluids then now wont you?" Yes. I'm serious. That was his response. And at that, still crying my eyes out, he stands up, and walks out the door. I only knew the visit was over because I saw my check out form laying in the chair he had been sitting in.

And so I've spent the better part of the day enjoying what will probably be my last day of not puking 15 times. I've chased my children around the house, found 25 tickle bugs that attacked the boys, and played as many games with them as I could think of.

I have called and made another appointment with the same practice (but a different doctor) hoping they will redeem themselves before I change practices. I will see a doctor on Monday who will hopefully be able to give me a little more hope on the outlook of my HG. I'll keep you posted.


PS. If you live in the North Georgia area and need an AMAZING OBGYN, go see Dr. Bailey. You will not be disappointed. He makes good doctors look bad. Seriously. Go see him. Here is his facebook link, as well as his website. You could even tell him I sent you, he may treat you extra special. :)

(I like to think I'm his favorite patient)

Lakeside OBGYN Facebook Page- Dr. Bailey
Dr. Bailey's Website

Hyperemesis Gravidarum

I'm not going crazy, I dont just have a weak stomach, I have hyperemesis gravidarum. I received the diagnosis last night after my 2nd trip to the ER for fluids in less than a week. I have to admit I wasn't too surprised as I was sent a link about it a day or two prior from a close friend. I had prayed that I didn't have this because it's pretty severe and it's not something I could "fit" into my life at the moment. I was just hoping I had a simple case of mild morning sickness. Throwing up 15-30 times a day is normal for some women, right? 

Back to the story. 

Even though I knew I had all the symptoms of HG I still couldn't prepare myself for hearing the doctor telling me I had it. Hearing the "treatment" for this disease was too much for this lady. I broke down. I came in for IV Fluids to help me get through my Thursday and now I was lying in the hospital bed refusing an overnight hospital stay and being told I would need to have a "central line" put in to keep me hydrated. I think I missed all that information on the links I was sent earlier that week. I have an appointment with my doctor this afternoon to talk about where we go from here. Hopefully they will reassure me that there is a chance HG *could* get better as I get further along. 

I will keep you updated on this journey, but I'll first ask for prayers. Not only for me, but for my family and those dealing with this same issue. This isn't just something us pregnant women deal with... this effects the entire family. So remember us all as you say your prayers. 

Until next time my friends.....

It's gonna be so worth it!!

This pregnancy is kicking my butt. I'm only 7 weeks and yet I am already finding myself wishing this part would hurry along. Morning sickness started off super early. As soon as I peed on the stick, I started throwing up. I had one good week where I felt like a million bucks. For the past two weeks I have been battling severe morning sickness. On average I throw up between 15-30 times a day. Some days are better than others. A little less than a week ago, I made my first trip to the ER for dehydration. After 3 bags of fluids through an IV and a quick ultrasound to check on the baby(s) I was sent home. I'm now on 8mg of Zofran, which as some of you know causes pretty severe constipation. I'm on day 7 without a bowel movement. I suppose saying my stomach is killing me is a given. I never realized how the lack of bowel movements could completely disable you. Yes, I mean disable. The simplest of things seem to make everything hurt more. Even walking has become painful. Of course, being this constipated has also brought back the throwing up and nausea. So we go around and around.

Acne has been another new pregnancy symptom that has found me. I look like a 16 year old boy going through puberty. I have 5 large boulders on my face with some smaller zits coming up as I type this. I can live with the zits though. They are the least of my concern at the moment.

I'm going in for a follow up with my OBGYN this Thursday. Hopefully they will be able to give me something that can help the morning sickness without completely stopping me up in the process.

With all that being said, I know that as soon as I hold my tiny precious baby for the first time everything will be forgotten. Or at least worth it.

Because 3 was too easy...

I know I haven't posted in forever but things have been busy. We found out about a month ago that we are expecting our 4th baby. So I have been searching the internet furiously looking for old wives tales to test out. Of course, I'm still holding out hope my hair line gender predictor holds true for us. :) But I've found some interesting one's that I just may have to try out and post the results on. But I'll list a couple I hope to be able to test out this pregnancy. 


Ramzi's Method: 


The first one would be Ramzi's Method. Though I'm not sure I'll be able to try test this one out. The use of this method yields a gender prediction of 97.2% for male with right-sided chorionic villi/placenta and 97.5% for female with left sided chorionic villi/placenta. This method is highly effective, as the closest method available is the sagital sign from 11 to 14 gestation. 


Here is the link to the information on Ramzi's Method. 


http://hcp.obgyn.net/fetal-monitoring/content/article/1760982/1878451


The nub theory: 


The nub theory is basically about 'the angle of the dangle'. Between 11 and 14 weeks' gestation both genders have a penis-like protuberance between the legs. They look incredibly similar at this point, except for the angle at which they are pointing. Sometimes there are males and females at this stage which are in the 'grey area', but essentially a boy's 'dangle' is 30 degrees up relative to the backbone and a girl's is below 30 degrees.

In order to be able to have any chance of predicting the gender, the foetus must not be curled up- they need to be lying as flat as possible. Also, it must be side on and apparently, it is better if the foetus is right side up.



Here is their website, however it's been down for several days. 


http://ingender.com/cs/forums/t/231735.aspx


For now we will wait and see what happens but I need to get the kids homeschool started. If anyone is able to test these out let me know the results. 

Are you ready?

I watched the news this morning and saw the devastation in Missouri. Last month, I watched as family members searched through leveled houses praying they found their family members alive in Mississippi. You can turn on the news and see more devastation throughout our country than ever before. While I'm watching all this unfold, I can't help but wonder, Is everyone ready? For those who aren't ready, or the one's who don't believe in God at all, this is just a fragment of what you will endure the Lord comes back. The fear, the panic, the sadness is all just a glimpse of what is in store for your life. I am happy to say that I wont have to endure any of that. What a glorious day that will be, at least for some. I am scared for the people who will be left behind. One thing that scares me more than anything is that people that I love will be left behind, and I wont remember them in heaven. Anything that brings sadness will not be in heaven. For those reading this that may be saved, do you know someone close to you who isn't? Are you praying for them? Talking to them about God? If not, DO!! The time is nearing. God is coming back for his children. We don't know the time, or the day, but we should remember that God doesn't make promises that He doesn't fulfill!!

I can hear the Lord screaming to His children that something is going to change. If we took the devastation in Missouri, or Mississippi and we told the country that it was a terrorist attack, what would happen? American's would be furious. They would start listening! But because God is allowing these things to happen without putting a name on the side of the tornado, we see what is going on, but we aren't listening to what God is really telling us. God is angry people. Our country has pushed God out of every building, and in most homes, people are leaving God outside their home. He is trying to show us He is still in control. He wants us to get back on our knees!!

Based on the Bible, we still have some tribulations yet to come. The trails and tribulations aren't really all that important. Because if you trust in God, he will protect you. We live in a scary place... but God is watching and waiting for His people to turn TO him.

I know you have all heard it, Get Ready, Or Get Left... So... Get on your knees and find out what God is wanting YOU to do for Him.

The older I get, the less I like people.

Yes, I said it. But the older I get the more I love and respect the people I care about. I have always been someone who doesn't put up with nonsense, and as I've got older, it's got worse. But instead of being confrontational, I just avoid them. I'm too old to fight, I'm too old to argue, and I'm definitely too old to play games. There are so many people who still act like they are 16. Who wants that? Better yet, who has time to do that? I honestly think my issue with the childish, I'm better than you attitudes that I seem to have issues with has more to do with the fact that those people are not my #1 priority. In fact, they aren't even on my top 10. They just simply don't matter to me anymore. I have a select few people that I would do anything in this world for. I wont list them all, but I will list a few that have been my rock at times.

My husband Josh.

 Sure, there are things he does that drive me C-R-A-Z-Y but he is SO good to me. He loves me with everything he has. And I see it daily. I can be the most difficult, hormonal woman in the world, and he will go out of his way to attempt to make me feel better. I couldn't do anything without him! 

My children. 

This goes without saying. They are the reasons I wake up in the morning, the reason I breathe. The reason I do everything. 

My sister Alicia.

My best friend in the whole world. Now that she is a mommy, I can see a different happiness about her. She has always been a happy person... but now she has that true joy in her eyes. I know that this chapter in her life will only bring us closer! 

My friend Amber P.

She listens to me cry, laugh, scream, complain, and whine. She gives me the advice that I hate to hear, but need to hear. We parent a lot alike, yet a lot differently. She understands where I'm coming from. I can tell her things without being afraid she will think I'm an awful mom or wife. I am very thankful for this woman. 

My mama.

What can I say? This woman is amazing. I can call her at any point during the day and she will answer. If I need something, you better believe she will help if she can. Plain and simple, she is amazing! 

Okay, I could go on and on... but I wont. I will just say that I have a lot of people in my life that mean the world to me. I am just tired of giving my time to people who aren't a direct part of my life. 

Hopefully all that made sense. :) 

Another random blog. 

Another Flare Up....

Some of my readers know about my son Brennon who is 3 and has severe eczema. Since moving to South Carolina, we managed to find an incredible asthma and allergist who has changed Brennon’s life completely. His name is Dr. Lagos and if you ever need one in the Spartanburg SC area, go see him. I can’t say anything bad about him at all. He is pretty much a God’s sent to our family. He changed Brennon’s medicines around and put him on a few additional prescriptions that will control his allergies better. So far he has done great. Earlier this week, Brennon started to have more episodes of itching.  He would scratch and scratch until he made himself bleed in places. We don’t change anything in this house. Nothing new cleaning wise, will never change laundry detergent, and stick to foods we know are safe for him. Yet, last night his itching resulted in the top layer of skin on both feet to be completely taken off. (I should add that Brennon has a hyper IgE level which will make it appear that he is allergic to things that he really isn’t allergic to. We really have no idea if this is related to his hyper IgE or something environmental.) My heart breaks for him. I know he can’t help it, and I know he has no idea what he is doing to himself. I only wish I could take that itch away from him so that he doesn’t have to hurt himself to get relief. We have changed his medicine’s once again and added an extra dose on the miracle “itch” relief. I am hoping that gives him some relief both during the day and at night. I’ll be starting the Clorox bath’s back today to rid off infection of the skin. To date we have had approximately 12 skin infections and I would venture to say the Clorox bath  has avoided at least another 20. We haven’t had a skin infection due to this sort of thing in over a year. Praise God!! For all my blogger friends, please say a prayer that this will pass and he can find relief soon.

Until next time my friends…. 

Mother's Day

Did you know that Mothers day was started in the 1600’s when the early Christians celebrated the Mother’s festival on the forth Sunday of Lent- the forty-day period leading up to Easter. This was in honor of Mary, the mother of Jesus.  In England, a religious order extended the celebration to include all mothers and was called Mothers Sunday. It was also known as Refreshment Sunday as the fasting rules for Lent were relaxed that day. J  It didn’t become a national holiday until Anna Jarvis pressed the President until he caved. May 9, 1914 was the official first Mothers Day .

Now that a bit of my history lesson is over… I’d like to talk to you about my mother.

I’ll start off with this. If I can be HALF the mother to my children that my mother was to me, I will feel like I’ve succeeded in my goal as a mother to my children. At some point in everyone’s life, they feel like their mother put their childrens needs before their own. I feel like my mom did this in every aspect of my life. She was a single mom, raising 3 kids. We never had the biggest house, or the nicest car. But we always had a roof over our heads, and a car that got us to point A to point B safely. We always had food to eat, and new shoes and clothes for each school year. Christmas always meant a living room packed with the toys we wanted, and birthdays were filled with a lot of friends and family. My mom taught me about family sticking together when things got tough, and to appreciate all the little things in life. I am grateful for the things I receive and work hard for the things I buy. I do this because of lessons taught by my mother.

My mom wasn’t a perfect mother. I’m sure she felt a lot like I feel at times with my own children. She probably made a lot of mistakes, but those mistakes were perfect in the grand scheme of things. She gave me a realistic view on motherhood. I can’t be perfect, or expect to be perfect. I’m going to mess up raising my children… but they are going to survive it.  There was a time when I was a teenager that I “hated” my mom. She knew everything and I knew everything. We butted heads often. I hate to admit it, but if I had listened to my mom half of the time back then, I would have had a few less heart aches. I didn’t realize how much she really knew and how little I understood until I was married and having babies of my own.  Those years brought a lot of sadness, a lot of regret, and a lot of happiness, but I wish more than anything I would have told her how much I appreciated her for standing by me regardless of what decisions I made.

I hear a lot of people say, “I have the BEST mom!”. Well, guys, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I have the best mom. She is the most perfect mama ever!

Adoption is pretty amazing....

Monday started out with a lot of anticipation. But ended with the best news I have heard in months... if not years! My sister Alicia and brother in law Ryan found out Monday at 5:00pm they were going to be parents. For those of you who don't know the story, Alicia and her husband Ryan have been waiting to adopt for over a year. With several failed placements, they were faithful that God knew their prayers and would deliver as he promised. You see, God lead them to adoption. It wasn't something that was a fall back plan when conceiving of their own didn't work. They knew it was something God wanted for their life. And Monday, they found out that they could take their little girl home with them the following day.

I couldn't imagine a more perfect little girl to join this family. She will be loved with everything we have in us. Alicia is going to be an incredible mother. Ryan, a wonderful father. I always knew that they would get a baby through adoption, but I must admit, after a while, I questioned on if we would be waiting FOREVER! Well, our wait is over. We have been blessed with a little princess they named Keira Leigh. We are so excited to have you in our lives. I can't wait to meet you and love on you. You are even more beautiful than I ever imagined you could be. Perfect is the only word I can think of to describe you. :) I would like to thank your birth mother for the beautiful sacrifice she made for you. The amount of love she must have had is admirable. I know Alicia and Ryan will do everything in their power to always protect you and love you. You are extremely blessed to have these two as your parents, and we are even more blessed to have you.

Homemade pregnancy tests

Okay, I found this on the web, and I thought... I have A LOT of pregnant friends right now. So I'm wondering... How many will do these and post if they are accurate? I'd like to see if I can get a true answer to if these really work. 

Here we go. 

      Test #1:

    Put some pine sol in a cup/glass and add some of your pee to it...if it changes color,supposedly you are pregnant.

Test #2:

Add small amount of bleach in a cup (1 or 2 cap fulls) and add pee to it; if it froths or fizzes you are supposedly pregnant.

Test #3:

 Collect leaves and stems of dandelions ,thoroughly sature the leaves, let it sit for a while, if the leaves get red blisters on them,supposedly you are pregnant.

Test #4:

Put white toothpaste on a plate and pour pee onto it if it turns blue or changes color you are supposedly pregnant.

Now, of course, I have no idea when these would be accurate if they DO work. But who doesn't like a little old wise tale? :) 

PLEASE don't forget to post the results!! :) 

Temper, Temper

Do I ever have one. I have been dealing with my temper and the way I handle things for years. I have always been fast to speak and slow to listen. I can dish out criticism really easily, but when its given to me, I don't always take it well. Today my temper was tested. My immediate thought was "I hate when I have to talk to stupid people!" After our conversation was over, I felt convicted by God to really sit down and re-think the situation. Perhaps this lady was so overwhelmed at work that she honestly just forgot to call me back (for the past month) or she's dealing with things beyond my imagination at home and doing the best she cannot to bring those worries to work with her. I then went back and forth with God about my reasoning behind my behavior and feelings towards this lady. Yes, I actually argued out loud with him!! 

"If she can't do her job, she should quit. Or if she can't keep up with the work load, she should talk to her boss about it. Regardless of HOW it's handled, I should not be paying the price. And right now, I AM!!"

Our gracious God reminded me of this... In James 1:20, God says ..."for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God".  I take this as anger turns to sin when it is selfishly motivated. Instead of using my energy generated by anger to attack the problem at hand, it was this women being attacked. I have to admit, I was a bit frustrated at God for showing my fault in all this. I mean, it IS a form of criticism. And I don't like to be given criticism! I have a fault that can be hurtful to others if I don't control it. So, with that being said. My goal is to speak slower and attack the problem instead of the person. My "count to 10 moment" needs to be used to reflect upon the Godly way to handle the situation opposed to letting my fallen nature or first reaction hurt others. 

As I'm writing this... I hear Brennon (age 3) singing VERY LOUDLY in the other room "He's still working on me...." Yep... I guess He's still working on me too. 

Faith

I know we all have it, but do we have it throughout every aspect of our live? I have started to question if I have truly given everything to God and have faith that He knows my needs better than I do. I think Faith is something that is hard to have in difficult situations. Weather it be something that really doesn't seem to be that important, or maybe it's something that is really important and you just can't let God take complete control over.  Or maybe you feel like you have given to God, but you still wonder and question the situation. That's not faith. I say this a lot. "If you're going to pray for rain, you better carry an umbrella!"

I have met a lot people who's faith has been tested. One of the most important people in my life has had faith tested over and over again. I have asked her to write a little something on her faith throughout her journey with adoption.

From my beautiful sister Alicia:

Faith... That is such a wonderful word isn't it? The first definition given in the dictionary for Faith is: confidence or trust in a person or thing. To me Faith is so much more than that and it's definitely not confidence in a person or a thing... it's complete confidence in God, the one who created us and loves us more than we can even begin to imagine. During our journey to start a family, my Faith has truly been tested! We spent 3 years trying to get pregnant and every month my Faith took a hit when that test showed a negative reading. Before we finally decided to start the Adoption process, my Faith was all but gone. Sadly I was bitter and felt sorry for myself. I felt like God was never going to give me what I wanted the most in this world, a baby to love. I still remember the hardest day for me was finding out my sister was pregnant with her 3rd child (who I love dearly and was very happy for but at the same time it made me sad for myself) and finding out a coworker was pregnant with her 2nd on the same day. It was a hard day but after that day, I realized that I was too blessed to be so sad all the time! Soon after, I started researching Adoption. My husband wasn't quite ready to take the plunge, so I researched and finally about 6 months later, he was on board! We started the process in late August 2009 and although it hasn't been easy, it's been a wonderful ride so far! Once we started this process, my attitude improved and my Faith was restored. We have now been officially waiting a little over a year and have had several failed matches. Our first failed match was definitely the hardest but it taught us so much about the process, about our Faith and how strong it was and about each other and our support system (family & friends). To say it was hard is an understatement! Imagine being at the hospital while what you think is going to be your son is born and being at the hospital for 2 days only to get a call on the 3rd day that he's not your son. It was hard BUT we made it through and are stronger because of it. The fact of the matter is that we were not meant to be his parents. I don't know why we go through things like that but I do know that God has a plan and there is a reason. Maybe God knew we were strong enough to handle it. Maybe he wanted us to see that we were strong enough. Or maybe he just wanted us to pray for that baby and his parents (which we do still today!). I may never know why we have had such a rough journey so far, but I know that even now when we are still waiting, I would do it all again in a heartbeat! I have met some of the best people throughout this process and have made lifelong friends in the process but most importantly, I've grown so much closer to HIM than I've ever been and for that in itself, I'm eternally grateful! I know that the day will come when we will finally get to meet the baby that God has selected for us because "The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made." Psalm 145:13b. He IS Faithful because of that my Faith will always been in him! For Christmas, my Mother-In-Law gave me a plaque that I have hanging above my kitchen window that reads, “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” I'm sure that he is always there and that he will never let me down!

 

I have to say, I don't know that I could keep faith quite like this if I were put through all the tests that they have been put through. I like to say that I have a lot of Faith. But truth be told, I am weak, and I haven't really had anything major in my life to knock me down like they have. Alicia, you are truly an inspiration to others. Not just people going through the adoption journey who feel your pain and are struggling with Faith in their life, but with everyone around you who is struggling with a lack of faith in everyday life. I love you and I am so excited at what God has in store for you and Ryan! 

If you or someone you know is pregnant and considering adoption, please contact Bethany Adoption Agency for more information.

http://www.bethany.org/A55798/bethanyWWW.nsf/0/899E872B1081B499852576B3005AEA1C